Say What????? The Dr. called yesterday to say that the numbers from the bone marrow biopsy are such that he wants to hold off on the chemo and monitor the numbers of the disease. I am soooo confused. The more I learn about this disease the more I see that it is not to be understood. It becomes more of a mystery the more I learn about it. My logical reaction should be to be joyful about this news. But in reality, I am totally perplexed. The numbers of the disease have definitely gone up, which is bad, but it doesn't need to be treated yet. There was no hint of a question from the Dr. last week when he said that we need to begin treatment. If there had been, I don't think it would bother me so much , but he was very direct and positive when he said we need to start treatment again.
Glenn is fine with this news. He was dreading the steroids and their effects. And I don't blame him for that. Those drugs can do evil things to the body, while they work to do good. I hate that I am not happy with/for him, but I am just so frustrated with this thing. I did ask God for deeper faith last week, and I KNOW this is a direct answer, or beginning of an answer, for me, anyway. I think he is telling me that I don't need to be able to predict the course of this thing and, of course, let him do what he will do, and go with that. So now, I need the peace that I asked for when I asked for deeper faith.